There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
