Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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