butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
