You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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