what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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