Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
