I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
