Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
