I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
