Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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