my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
