let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
