we're chasing vodka with high fives
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
