my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize