Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
