I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
