wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
