I didn't shave. On purpose
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
