Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
