Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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