Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
