how can u be prego again
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
