Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
