Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
