This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
