Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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