i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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