just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
