but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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