If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
and you said cock pushups were impossible
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
