i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
