He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
