i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
