No awkward lesbian experiences without me
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
