There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
