If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
