did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
