just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
