Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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