Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
