My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
