so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
