No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
