Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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