She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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