I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
operation have a gay friend backfired
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
