i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
