Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
