The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
