well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
