He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
