Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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