so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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