9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Mom said you looked used
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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