Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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