thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
