i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
