If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize