He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
